I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
