i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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