He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
