I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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