The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize