THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
