he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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