Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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