I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Boobs are out for the taking
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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