Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize