it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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