carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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