I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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