Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
