So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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