fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
