If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
