i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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