I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
