so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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