$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize