i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
