Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
