2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
