This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
