I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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