Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
