but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
