Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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