Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my being single is dangerous.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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