how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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