yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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