she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
