can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
