It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
