Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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