You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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