Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
