just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize