in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
