How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm too high and old for this...
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