i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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