I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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