3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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