You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
