I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
