Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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