Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
