Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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