there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
