LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
