Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
