where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
