So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
