that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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