His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
