careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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