You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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