Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize