It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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