i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
