Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
